Good Morning my fellow Fall lovers!!!!
Fall is finally here!
I love Fall(autumn) and winter those are my favorite seasons. I am supposed to be working right now and I don't want to. I am sitting here thinking of these beautiful fall trees that I see in my mind and see in pictures. The wonderful fall colors red, yellow, purple, orange. WOW incredible how there is so much beauty around us and yet we don't appreciate it. We spend every minute of every hour thinking about bills, money, work and we don't stop for a second to take it all in.
I love walking outside when it's nice and brisk and being able to breath in the cool air, I love to be able to smell the wet leaves after a nice refreshing rain shower. Have you? If not add it to your to do list because it is a definite must.
Have you noticed the breathtaking view when you cross over a bridge and see the city lights shining back at you?
Have you ever walked along the beach and noticed the beautiful array of seashells along the shore?
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Thoughts running wild
My thoughts run wild like children who see snow for the first time, like horses galloping across a field over the hill, like a paper dancing in the wind. They run free without any regret or remorse. They don't stop and wonder they just run.
At times I think it is a curse to have your mind run wild with thoughts and wild dreams. Then I set into reality and realize it's the only time I can be me, the real me, the me who is not afraid of what to say, the me who does not think of what happens after the fact. The person sometimes I wish to be but is afraid to.
I see myself running through a sea of autumn leaves, as they flutter away in the nice brisk breeze of the day. Orange, red and yellow have never looked so beautiful, just dancing in the wind without a worry in the world. Traveling in circles making faces at me, laughing at my demise, taunting my every move.
I stop to catch my breath and there... I see-a lonely green leaf that the others had left behind. Sitting on the ground just withering away with none of them at it's side. I pick it up and in pieces it falls it just died alone but that was it's fate like a person who dies early because of a mistake.
I walk along the road with beauty all around but I can only think of that one lonely leaf laying there on the ground. I come across a stream what a marvelous sight I decide to get in and fell in without finding the light. I was tugged down below with nothing to breath, so I start to fight.
I fought so hard with all of my might, I wouldn't stop not without a big fight, thoughts crossed through my mind and I couldn't stop the thought of that lonely green leaf laying there on the ground and at that moment was when I realized that it was me whom I had found.
At times I think it is a curse to have your mind run wild with thoughts and wild dreams. Then I set into reality and realize it's the only time I can be me, the real me, the me who is not afraid of what to say, the me who does not think of what happens after the fact. The person sometimes I wish to be but is afraid to.
I see myself running through a sea of autumn leaves, as they flutter away in the nice brisk breeze of the day. Orange, red and yellow have never looked so beautiful, just dancing in the wind without a worry in the world. Traveling in circles making faces at me, laughing at my demise, taunting my every move.
I stop to catch my breath and there... I see-a lonely green leaf that the others had left behind. Sitting on the ground just withering away with none of them at it's side. I pick it up and in pieces it falls it just died alone but that was it's fate like a person who dies early because of a mistake.
I walk along the road with beauty all around but I can only think of that one lonely leaf laying there on the ground. I come across a stream what a marvelous sight I decide to get in and fell in without finding the light. I was tugged down below with nothing to breath, so I start to fight.
I fought so hard with all of my might, I wouldn't stop not without a big fight, thoughts crossed through my mind and I couldn't stop the thought of that lonely green leaf laying there on the ground and at that moment was when I realized that it was me whom I had found.
Monday, July 28, 2008
On the road to nowhere
Today is another day just like yesterday. I wake up get dressed come to work go home, nothing on tv and I start cleaning. "Yawn" I always complain about school and how hard it is and that I don't have time for anything. I am not sure if anyone understands how I feel unless they've gone to school. It's like a love-hate relationship, can't stand it but can't live without it. Don't get me wrong I love school, I love learning something new everyday, I feel it is fundamental for everyone to learn something new because it healthy and helpful in our life. I don't like the PRESSURE the pressure to finish, the pressure of getting an "A" because if you don't you're not as smart as you thought or at least it feels that way. I feel bored. I don't know what's wrong with me, I feel like I'm living a very boring and safe life. It's because I chose to be this way, I just started being more and more safe about things that I have confined myself in this plastic bubble and don't want to step out. It feels good it feels safe here, I feel happy here. Honestly I feel bored....... I am boring it's that simple.
What's funny is I started to write this blog 2 weeks ago and I never finished. I guess I got my wish because my life became very eventful and it's not a good thing. I made a decision a decision in which I thought was best for my home. It seems to be that was a decision that nobody liked-except me. I now have to live with the consequences of it and it's killing me inside. I feel lonely, I feel sad. Why do I have to be the bad one I only want to live my life as God intended it to be. He says it so clearly in the bible, I am not going to say what it is as I'd rather keep quiet about what's going on. Why do I have to be forced into doing something I don't want to do? Why do I have to accept the choices others make in my own home? I thought I left that long ago when I left my mom and dad and decided to be an adult.
Am I selfish? What does it truly mean to be selfish? I don't feel as I am but then again we see the things we want to see so I might be wrong. Yet those I ask seem to agree that I am not. So why is it that when things need to be changed and will be for the better, fingers start to point and mouths start to flap? I am very emotional today and don't seem to care for anything else. I feel as though I am walking in a path that leads to no where because I keep walking right into that same wall, I had thought I walked around it but yet it stops me dead in my tracks again and yet the path does not seem to end.
I feel like writing poetry, I haven't written in so long. I used to-only in sad times. I have so many thoughts they don't stop they want to come out of my mouth but they pierce like knives right in the heart. I feel like screaming but I can't, I scream and scream in my head and don't stop. I feel like crying but I don't, I cry in my head non stop I see a child in the corner trying to hide the tears from them. I try to smile, but my smile is dead- as a man who's dead in his sleep (nobody knows the man is dead until they approach him).
I am going to dig deep, deep in the earth's crust to find me and not stop till I get that person who I need to be not the person they want me to be.
What's funny is I started to write this blog 2 weeks ago and I never finished. I guess I got my wish because my life became very eventful and it's not a good thing. I made a decision a decision in which I thought was best for my home. It seems to be that was a decision that nobody liked-except me. I now have to live with the consequences of it and it's killing me inside. I feel lonely, I feel sad. Why do I have to be the bad one I only want to live my life as God intended it to be. He says it so clearly in the bible, I am not going to say what it is as I'd rather keep quiet about what's going on. Why do I have to be forced into doing something I don't want to do? Why do I have to accept the choices others make in my own home? I thought I left that long ago when I left my mom and dad and decided to be an adult.
Am I selfish? What does it truly mean to be selfish? I don't feel as I am but then again we see the things we want to see so I might be wrong. Yet those I ask seem to agree that I am not. So why is it that when things need to be changed and will be for the better, fingers start to point and mouths start to flap? I am very emotional today and don't seem to care for anything else. I feel as though I am walking in a path that leads to no where because I keep walking right into that same wall, I had thought I walked around it but yet it stops me dead in my tracks again and yet the path does not seem to end.
I feel like writing poetry, I haven't written in so long. I used to-only in sad times. I have so many thoughts they don't stop they want to come out of my mouth but they pierce like knives right in the heart. I feel like screaming but I can't, I scream and scream in my head and don't stop. I feel like crying but I don't, I cry in my head non stop I see a child in the corner trying to hide the tears from them. I try to smile, but my smile is dead- as a man who's dead in his sleep (nobody knows the man is dead until they approach him).
I am going to dig deep, deep in the earth's crust to find me and not stop till I get that person who I need to be not the person they want me to be.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Views of the world
I try not to talk much about my views as I am very passionate about them and well my passions are not everyone else's. I just can't agree with all that is going on around me and I guess that is what makes me who I am and different than everyone else. I don't understand how there are so many people in the world fighting about things that make no sense to me but are so important to them. One of the recent things I've seen is some Christian groups who campaign against companies who sponsor gay americans.
I am a Christian so don't get me wrong, but I think the world has more serious problems than the many gay people out there. Listen it's their life and they choose to live it the way they want to. You can't change them all you can do is offer them a helping hand, the best way to bring someone to God is to extend your hand in friendship and not judgement. How do you expect God to have pity on you and not judge you for your sins that you commit everyday but yet you judge others for their mistakes? It's funny I started writing this post about 3 days ago and yesterday when I went to church my pastor spoke about this very same thing. He asked us not to judge others for the things they do as God only wants us to follow him and not to worry about a checklist of what we have to do to win his love. I was amazed as how God spoke to me to assure me that what I am writing is correct. I really don't care to offend anyone because I only serve one person and that is the almighty, so all others can condemn me because of my thoughts or actions all they want.
I've actually derailed from my original topic. My thought was as these people waste their time trying to make it a better place here on earth as it shouldn't because our stay here on earth is not permanent. They should be trying to help others and bringing them to God, one way would be helping the poor who are starving and their children are too. Or the battered women and children who the city and government try so hard to hide. Those are the one's who really need help, not to say others who have not come to Christ don't but it's not worth the time trying to fight a war that shouldn't be fought. Ok let me rewind for a second before you get all crazy on me... my statement is: Instead of rallying against companies who support gay people, are owned by gay people, commercials, exct. US as Childs of Christ should rally TOGETHER to help those in need of saving and showing them that believing in Christ is not a bad thing and that following him doesn't mean giving up everything you've ever felt or believed in, it's just a matter of walking in his ways without adding things to the word.
I am a Christian so don't get me wrong, but I think the world has more serious problems than the many gay people out there. Listen it's their life and they choose to live it the way they want to. You can't change them all you can do is offer them a helping hand, the best way to bring someone to God is to extend your hand in friendship and not judgement. How do you expect God to have pity on you and not judge you for your sins that you commit everyday but yet you judge others for their mistakes? It's funny I started writing this post about 3 days ago and yesterday when I went to church my pastor spoke about this very same thing. He asked us not to judge others for the things they do as God only wants us to follow him and not to worry about a checklist of what we have to do to win his love. I was amazed as how God spoke to me to assure me that what I am writing is correct. I really don't care to offend anyone because I only serve one person and that is the almighty, so all others can condemn me because of my thoughts or actions all they want.
I've actually derailed from my original topic. My thought was as these people waste their time trying to make it a better place here on earth as it shouldn't because our stay here on earth is not permanent. They should be trying to help others and bringing them to God, one way would be helping the poor who are starving and their children are too. Or the battered women and children who the city and government try so hard to hide. Those are the one's who really need help, not to say others who have not come to Christ don't but it's not worth the time trying to fight a war that shouldn't be fought. Ok let me rewind for a second before you get all crazy on me... my statement is: Instead of rallying against companies who support gay people, are owned by gay people, commercials, exct. US as Childs of Christ should rally TOGETHER to help those in need of saving and showing them that believing in Christ is not a bad thing and that following him doesn't mean giving up everything you've ever felt or believed in, it's just a matter of walking in his ways without adding things to the word.
Monday, July 14, 2008
"Mi Vida es de pelicula!"
I have to say being a Meteorology student should make me more aware of the weather on a day to day basis but it's not that way. Let's begin with a few instances where I've had issues..... OOH today is a good place to begin. I forgot my umbrella being that it is a 60% chance of rain today, yea not smart.... So I get out of class and it's pitch black outside and I am riding the shuttle bus, I take out my neck badge (with credit card and license in it) and run out of the shuttle under sprinkles of rain. As I got to the train station I realized I left my neck badge in the shuttle! Yes exactly what you are thinking, I ran out across the street in front of very angry morning drivers (who are in a hurry to get to work because they woke up late and think it's every one's fault) who then stick out their not so nice fingers at me and let me tell you it's not the thumbs up, ear picker or the pointer.
I yelled to the shuttle bus driver STOP! and he stops for me to get in, I hurriedly tell him I have forgotten something and make a poor guy stand up who hits me in the face with his folder as he stands up for me ( of course purely accidental- or was it!?) Guess what? I don't find it, it was not on the floor or on the chair, as I turn around to get off to see if I find it on the floor, I see the shuttle driver halfway down the block heading towards his next destination with me in it! Of course I couldn't make more of a scene than I had already done, so I waited to get off on the next stop. I get off on the next stop and it starts pouring cats and dogs, or at least that's what the water felt like as it came down on me. I yelled to the sky "God I bet your having a big laugh huh?" and of course at that moment harder it came down.
I finally got on the bus with squishing shoes and dripping clothes and said well I'm going to be late to work so I might as well take my car (as I leave it there in the train station and take the train everyday) So under the rain I start walking up and down looking for my car and then a lady asks "are you leaving?" and I said "yes but I can't find my car" (Erick parks the car I don't) and yes she laughed at me (picture me drenched still walking under the rain with all my bags "looking for my car") She must of thought I was crazy.
So I said forget it I'll take the train, I heard the train coming so I started running into puddles and yes.............. I fell and so they laughed, I held back my tears and held my head up high as I squished away. All I can say to you is don't forget your umbrella, have money for gas, have a cell phone ready, and check the weather everyday! Or if you are like me then make sure to wear your water proof clothes, shoes and definitely makeup!!!
I yelled to the shuttle bus driver STOP! and he stops for me to get in, I hurriedly tell him I have forgotten something and make a poor guy stand up who hits me in the face with his folder as he stands up for me ( of course purely accidental- or was it!?) Guess what? I don't find it, it was not on the floor or on the chair, as I turn around to get off to see if I find it on the floor, I see the shuttle driver halfway down the block heading towards his next destination with me in it! Of course I couldn't make more of a scene than I had already done, so I waited to get off on the next stop. I get off on the next stop and it starts pouring cats and dogs, or at least that's what the water felt like as it came down on me. I yelled to the sky "God I bet your having a big laugh huh?" and of course at that moment harder it came down.
I finally got on the bus with squishing shoes and dripping clothes and said well I'm going to be late to work so I might as well take my car (as I leave it there in the train station and take the train everyday) So under the rain I start walking up and down looking for my car and then a lady asks "are you leaving?" and I said "yes but I can't find my car" (Erick parks the car I don't) and yes she laughed at me (picture me drenched still walking under the rain with all my bags "looking for my car") She must of thought I was crazy.
So I said forget it I'll take the train, I heard the train coming so I started running into puddles and yes.............. I fell and so they laughed, I held back my tears and held my head up high as I squished away. All I can say to you is don't forget your umbrella, have money for gas, have a cell phone ready, and check the weather everyday! Or if you are like me then make sure to wear your water proof clothes, shoes and definitely makeup!!!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Our society today
Let me start off by saying that this is my opinion and my opinion only. I am not insulting anyone's parenting style. My views are based on observations made in everyday life by different people.
I remember when I was a teenager that things were much more different. The way we dressed was in baggy clothes with ponytails up high. Hahaha I remember my dad always called me such a boy, but that was the main style, not to say that others didn't dress provocative, but they were few. When I wore skirts I had to wear shorts underneath, when I wore shirts I had to make sure it was up to my neck, yes my mom was that strict.
What happened???? Did I grow up and open my eyes? Has there really been a big change? I mean I look around now and these young girls with barely any clothes on, smoking, cursing, doing drugs, having boyfriends at such young ages and getting pregnant for no reason "just because it's fun". I mean am I wrong? I look around and see parents act like they are the children and the children are the parents. What is wrong with this picture? Am I the only one that sees this? I believe that parents should befriend their children but know when to draw that line of parenting. I always say when I become a mother I won't be like other moms, is that fair to say? I mean I've seen their mistakes and know not to make them, but did they think the same as me when they were without child?
If some of the kids I've met including my siblings are the adults of the future, then I am scared. I truly am scared because what would be of the world then? If now it is barely hanging on. Don't get me wrong some children have been raised to aspire to something and they will be the Bill Gates or OPRAH of tomorrow but there are few in between. When I was a kid, I wanted to learn everything and know everything and most importantly I learned the meaning of a dollar in which most kids now don't. It's just "give me give me" and if you don't then you are a bad parent. Being a bad parent is giving them all that they want and ask for-rather than them earning it.
I look forward to having several children of my own and pray that I don't make these mistakes with them, my opinion might change when I have them, but as of know it stands strong. I want my child to have everything they want and feel great about themselves (like I do) because they worked hard for what they have. I believe this is why most rich kids are so bored with their life that they turn to drugs and rebelliousness. They don't know the meaning of a dollar and how hard it is to earn it. Am I wrong or has society changed so drastically? Discuss........
I remember when I was a teenager that things were much more different. The way we dressed was in baggy clothes with ponytails up high. Hahaha I remember my dad always called me such a boy, but that was the main style, not to say that others didn't dress provocative, but they were few. When I wore skirts I had to wear shorts underneath, when I wore shirts I had to make sure it was up to my neck, yes my mom was that strict.
What happened???? Did I grow up and open my eyes? Has there really been a big change? I mean I look around now and these young girls with barely any clothes on, smoking, cursing, doing drugs, having boyfriends at such young ages and getting pregnant for no reason "just because it's fun". I mean am I wrong? I look around and see parents act like they are the children and the children are the parents. What is wrong with this picture? Am I the only one that sees this? I believe that parents should befriend their children but know when to draw that line of parenting. I always say when I become a mother I won't be like other moms, is that fair to say? I mean I've seen their mistakes and know not to make them, but did they think the same as me when they were without child?
If some of the kids I've met including my siblings are the adults of the future, then I am scared. I truly am scared because what would be of the world then? If now it is barely hanging on. Don't get me wrong some children have been raised to aspire to something and they will be the Bill Gates or OPRAH of tomorrow but there are few in between. When I was a kid, I wanted to learn everything and know everything and most importantly I learned the meaning of a dollar in which most kids now don't. It's just "give me give me" and if you don't then you are a bad parent. Being a bad parent is giving them all that they want and ask for-rather than them earning it.
I look forward to having several children of my own and pray that I don't make these mistakes with them, my opinion might change when I have them, but as of know it stands strong. I want my child to have everything they want and feel great about themselves (like I do) because they worked hard for what they have. I believe this is why most rich kids are so bored with their life that they turn to drugs and rebelliousness. They don't know the meaning of a dollar and how hard it is to earn it. Am I wrong or has society changed so drastically? Discuss........
Thursday, July 10, 2008
"What is the true definition of being a slave?"
Today in class our professor called us a slave to God. Are we truly slaves, or is that how it seems?
Are we slaves to the modern world we live in? Are we slaves to our jobs? to money? to our very own families? Let me start by saying the true definition of being a"slave"=
Are we really anyone's property? I mean if someone says jump off a bridge will you go and jump off? To me being someone's property means having no free will. It means you are strictly under the authority of that person and cannot think or do anything for yourself. Am I wrong? If in such a case one believes that we are slaves then we are slaves to everything and everyone. I mean I don't think I am a slave to my job, I choose to be here and I can leave when I want to. I am not a slave to my marriage, I choose to be married and I can divorce him when I want to. Same as religion, you can go into a religion and if it's not for you than you can CHOOSE to leave it. We CHOOSE to believe in our creator and CHOOSE to abide by his rules and at any time we can stop and that my friend is free will in which a slave does not have. So I ask you today do you feel like a slave? Why? Do we not have the option to do as we please? Explain.....
Are we slaves to the modern world we live in? Are we slaves to our jobs? to money? to our very own families? Let me start by saying the true definition of being a"slave"=
| 1. | a person who is the property of and wholly subject to another; a bond servant. |
| 2. | a person entirely under the domination of some influence or person: |
Are we really anyone's property? I mean if someone says jump off a bridge will you go and jump off? To me being someone's property means having no free will. It means you are strictly under the authority of that person and cannot think or do anything for yourself. Am I wrong? If in such a case one believes that we are slaves then we are slaves to everything and everyone. I mean I don't think I am a slave to my job, I choose to be here and I can leave when I want to. I am not a slave to my marriage, I choose to be married and I can divorce him when I want to. Same as religion, you can go into a religion and if it's not for you than you can CHOOSE to leave it. We CHOOSE to believe in our creator and CHOOSE to abide by his rules and at any time we can stop and that my friend is free will in which a slave does not have. So I ask you today do you feel like a slave? Why? Do we not have the option to do as we please? Explain.....
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
"Don't rain on my parade!"
Welcome to my blog. Today will be the first day of many to come, where you can get into what is lurking in this crazy head of mine. I have to say Sidney got me into this whole blogging online thing as I had not thought of it. Well here goes. I am currently working on what is my co-workers job because she is on vacation (3 weeks)! I have to say it has become a little more challenging than I thought. It is frustrating to say the least but I know it's not anyone's fault in the matter, we do our job and we have to do it right as simple as that. It seems I might have made some people not like me. Why? do you ask, I honestly don't know and only they do but I'm not letting it change who I am. You either like me or you don't as simple as that. I might come off sometimes as a know it all but it's not that way, I might be a little self centered but it's because I know of my potential and I always try to reach it to it's maximum. So if you don't like me SORRY! I am a very happy person who is content with her job and life outside work (yes I have one, though my cousin would say otherwise) :/ So NO don't waste your time and rain on my parade because I will be prepared with a rain coat and silly looking rain boots!
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